I found my old clothes the other day, and my heart took a little leap. They held the memories of the time when I was feeling healthy, strong and confident, before my disease hit me like a ton of bricks. That was 12 years ago.
When I packed up my clothes to move to New York, I was going through a divorce and struggling with a rare, incurable disease. My body was loaded up on 20 mg of prednisone every day, I had gained many clothing sizes, and physical distress was my norm. I was leaving behind the dream business that I had created, the home I had lived in and raised my daughter in for 20 years, and was moving back to my hometown, at least for some time. I was going through trauma and doing my best to make a million decisions.
As I was packing up my belongings and sorting through my clothes, I found some of my favorite pieces from my pre-health-trauma era. My thoughts were, ‘Give away things you don’t need or pack for your new life.’ Obviously, the tiny workout bras, favorite shirts and leggings didn’t fit me. ‘Easy choice, give-away pile.’ But, my heartstrings said, ‘This is a part of who you are, and you will find that part of yourself again. Save!’ In the packing box they went.
Those clothes went with me to Rochester, New York, where I lived for three years, including the isolating COVID years. When it was time to move back to Massachusetts, I went through the same process of decision making. This time, I was planning a major downsize, from three bedrooms, attic and basement with two porches and a yard to a one-bedroom apartment. I had made some progress with weight loss but had a long way to go with all of my health issues. The old clothes that I had saved were still a reminder of the version of myself I planned to return to. I saved them again. This time, they would live in my new storage unit.
Last week, while sorting through my storage boxes, I found the black drawstring bag that I packed almost a decade ago. I had actually forgotten about it, with all of the changes in my life. When I got home, I pulled out all of the clothes I had kept so intentionally. I picked out my favorite workout shirt and pair of comfy sweats. I felt happy with the anticipation of seeing how that promise to myself had worked out, measured by these old clothes. I tried them on immediately. I checked my image in the full-length mirror. I teared up and said out loud, “You did it, girl! Look at you! Way to go, Moey!” I scooped up my puppy and did a little dance.
My joy wasn’t just about the fact that I fit into the clothes again. It felt like validation and acknowledgement of all the trauma and all the recovery that I had made my way out of. I did eliminate any signs of the disease that is known to be incurable. I did create a life where I once again feel great in my body and my soul. I’d been working so hard for all of those years. It felt like a big life goal, achieved. I had reclaimed that version of me, just like I promised myself. And the best part, is how happy I feel about my life and appreciative of the lessons.
Using the power of intention, manifesting or calling on your higher power all begin with one question. What do you want to create?
The power of intention is not a gift that is given to few. Intention is a skill and a mindset. It’s a way of talking to yourself, out loud, in silence, or written, that forms your way of thinking. I didn’t think, ‘Because I‘m saving these clothes, I will get back to my healthy self.’ I did think, ‘I’m gonna save these clothes because I AM going to get my health back. That’s the plan.’
Here are some methods you can try to make the power of intention work for you.
1. Practice, practice, practice. Start a daily intention journal. Write down one intention for the day. Close your eyes for a moment and picture your day going the way you’re planning, with the choices that you make because of your intention.
2. Meditate on your intentions. Choose some music that calms you, close your eyes and create the situation in your mind. You are the designer of your experience, here. Use your five senses in your meditation to truly engage in your story.
3. Write it out. When your thoughts turn to self-doubt, make a note of it in your phone. When you have time, write it all out to try and get to the root of it.
4. Talk about it in therapy. If your mind continually turns to the negative stories, bring it up with your therapist. 😊
5. Practice forgiveness. Give yourself some grace when you fall back on doubt and negativity. Just hit reset!
Keep in mind, that despite our best intentions, sometimes forces outside of us steer things in a different direction. As I recently heard someone say, “Never a Failure. Always a Lesson.” That’s another mindset.